6 Allyship Mistakes to Avoid This Pride Month and Beyond

23 June 2025
Latest Insights From Symmetra, Employee Wellbeing
by Monique Diver

 

It’s pride month again folks! While many of us express a desire to be allies to LGBTQIA+ people, it’s important to understand that simply expressing support isn’t enough. Being a genuine ally requires learning, active engagement, and a commitment to self-awareness and growth. Unfortunately, many well-intentioned allies make mistakes that can inadvertently hinder LGBTQIA+ inclusion rather than promote it.

In this article, we’ll look at 6 common mistakes allies make, why they matter, and practical ways to avoid them.

1. Assuming Someone’s Sexual Orientation or Gender Identity

This mistake can manifest in various ways from assuming all LGBTQIA+ people identify as gay or lesbian to presuming someone’s gender identity based on their appearance. An ally’s role is to respect an individual’s privacy and avoid pressuring them to disclose information they are not ready to share. Research by the Human Rights Campaign shows that many LGBTQIA+ employees report feeling uncomfortable disclosing their identities due to fear of discrimination or negative assumptions from colleagues (HRC, 2021).

How to Avoid This Mistake

  • When introducing yourself in meetings or during email correspondence, include your pronouns. This encourages others to do the same, fostering an environment where LGBTQIA+ employees feel comfortable sharing their identities.
  • Avoid making comments like “I thought you were straight,” or “You don’t look gay,” which can invalidate a person’s experience. If you’re uncertain about someone’s identity, ask them directly in a respectful manner. Most importantly, be willing to accept whatever response they provide without judgment.
  • Respect the privacy of LGBTQIA+ employees. Never disclose someone’s sexual orientation or gender identity without their consent.
  • Create an environment where individuals feel comfortable sharing their identity on their own terms. When in doubt, keep their identity confidential.

2. Using Outdated or Offensive Terminology

Words like “transgendered” instead of “transgender,” can indicate a lack of understanding or sensitivity to the community’s language and experiences. This mistake often arises from unfamiliarity with the community’s preferred terms or from adopting outdated terminology that was once more common. However, language evolves over time, and terms that may have been acceptable in the past can be harmful or misleading today.

How to Avoid This Mistake

  • Educate yourself using language resources such as GLAAD’s Media Reference Guide and PFLAG’s Guide to LGBTQIA+ Terminology which offer up-to-date definitions and explanations of LGBTQIA+ terms.
  • Don’t hesitate to apologise if you inadvertently use a term that is offensive. Acknowledge your mistake, correct it, and continue your efforts to use respectful, inclusive language moving forward.

3. Treating LGBTQIA+ Issues as a “Trend”

For LGBTQIA+ employees, it can be disheartening to see their identities celebrated one month, only to be ignored or forgotten the next. While Pride Month is an important time for LGBTQIA+ visibility and advocacy, it is essential that LGBTQIA+ rights and inclusion are seen as ongoing priorities, not just temporary causes to be supported for a month out of the year. When allies treat LGBTQIA+ inclusion as a fleeting trend, it diminishes the significance of these issues.

How to Avoid This Mistake

  • Advocate for inclusive practices, policies, and resources for LGBTQIA+ employees, such as anti-discrimination policies, gender-neutral bathrooms and employee resource groups.
  • Use Pride Month as an opportunity to reflect on progress, but make it clear that LGBTQIA+ inclusion is a permanent commitment.

4. Speaking on behalf of LGBTQIA+ People

Allies are meant to support LGBTQIA+ individuals, but sometimes they can overstep their role by speaking on behalf of others. This is often done with good intentions, such as when an ally advocates for LGBTQIA+ rights or policies without consulting the perspectives of LGBTQIA+ colleagues. While it’s essential to support the community, allies must also respect the autonomy and voices of LGBTQIA+ individuals.

How to Avoid This Mistake

  • When advocating for LGBTQIA+ rights or policies in the workplace, ensure that LGBTQIA+ employees have a seat at the table.
  • Support their efforts, amplify their voices, and empower them to take leadership roles in initiatives related to LGBTQIA+ inclusion.
  • If you are uncertain about an issue, ask LGBTQIA+ colleagues for their perspectives. Listen actively, ask questions respectfully, and be open to learning from their insights.

5. Ignoring Intersectionality

People from different racial, ethnic, socioeconomic, and cultural backgrounds often experience unique challenges based on the intersection of these identities. For instance, LGBTQIA+ employees of colour often experience discrimination both based on their race and sexual orientation or gender identity. Similarly, LGBTQIA+ employees with disabilities or those from lower-income backgrounds may face additional challenges that should be addressed with an intersectional approach.

How to Avoid This Mistake

  • Engage with LGBTQIA+ employees of various backgrounds to understand the complexities of their lived experiences.
  • Support initiatives that specifically address the needs of LGBTQIA+ individuals from underrepresented groups, and advocate for policies that take intersectionality into account.
  • Survey LGBTQIA+ employees to understand their unique needs and challenges.

6. Not Acknowledging or Challenging Microaggressions

Microaggressions — subtle, often unintentional slights or insults directed at LGBTQIA+ individuals—are a pervasive issue in many workplaces. Whether it’s using inappropriate language, making jokes about LGBTQIA+ people, or dismissing LGBTQIA+ issues as trivial, microaggressions can contribute to a toxic work environment. For allies, failing to acknowledge or challenge these microaggressions is a missed opportunity to stand up for LGBTQIA+ colleagues and help shift workplace culture toward inclusion.

How to Avoid This Mistake

  • If you hear offensive jokes or comments, politely but firmly intervene and educate your colleagues on why their words or actions are harmful. Encourage others to do the same.
  • Furthermore, create a supportive environment where LGBTQIA+ colleagues feel comfortable reporting microaggressions without fear of retaliation. Be prepared to listen to their concerns and advocate for systemic change when necessary.

By understanding and avoiding common mistakes, you can be a more effective ally in supporting the LGBTQIA+ community. By focusing on respect, education, and action, you can help create an environment where LGBTQIA+ individuals feel seen, heard, and valued, ultimately contributing to a healthier, more productive workplace culture for everyone.